It feels great to be back at work after having my first child, albeit a bit tough at times! I missed the the smiling faces of the students, staff and families of Medfield. I often try to pick relevant social/emotional topics or goings on at Wheelock to blog about. Over the past couple of years, I have heard a lot about perfectionist tendencies in students. I think this would be a great opportunity to share some tips and books I think are helpful. It is certainly not an exhaustive list of strategies and books, but they are ones I like and think are relevant.
Try not to feed the perfectionism...
As hard as it can be sometimes, when a child cannot seem to move on when something isn't 'just right', it can be helpful for you to step aside and not try to 'over assist' with an issue. Stepping aside can help show your child (although it is hard in the moment) that they can learn how to be flexible. For example, when their outfit or shoes, etc. are not 'perfect' and they feel they cannot leave. Try to let them have their space and not immediately try to fix the situation by coming up with other solutions or strategies.
Try to be a role model...
Show your kids that it is okay to make mistakes in certain instances and that less than perfect can be perfectly acceptable. Maybe share a story from your experience that a mistake actually helped you grow. Try to use 'teachable' moments to show your kids that even though mom or dad made a mistake, life does go on and it's no big deal! Which leads to my next suggestion:
Try to use a little humor...
Sometimes a little humor can help lighten the mood. This may not always be the appropriate strategy depending on the intensity of the situation. However, laughing and positive distraction are great ways to handle certain situations. As mentioned above, it's not the end of the world and we sometimes needs to laugh at our own mistakes!
Try to help promote positive self talk...
One of my favorite strategies that can help with so many different issues is one that I teach all the kids here at Wheelock; Inner Coach. This is the voice in our brains that helps us to think positively about a situation. Help to challenge their thinking by asking how they can think positive about the situation. Some examples include: "I can do this" "It's okay to make mistakes" "All I can do is try my best".
Lastly, I know we've all seen these Memes all over the internet but they are so true! Maybe help your child to pick out their favorite failure quote when times get tough. Mistakes help us learn.
If you google 'quotes about failure', you will have plenty to choose from!
Here are some other resources:
* Helpful website with more in depth strategies & information
Some great books for kids:
1. Nobody's Perfect
2. Mistakes make you Quake - a great workbook from my favorite series
3. Ish - shout out to Mrs. Laliberte- thanks for the suggestion :)
4. The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes
5. What to do when Good Enough isn't Good Enough
