Perspective Taking

Perspective Taking 

Here at Wheelock, I spend a lot of time in my small groups, lunch bunches and also at times within the classrooms teaching kids how to take PERSPECTIVE.   Or in other words, teaching kids to recognize and think about what other people are thinking and feeling.  This is a very important skill and is a great building block to building empathy.  Our teachers do a wonderful job weaving perspective taking skills in to many different lessons at school.  

In my earlier posts I've talked about Michele Garcia Winner's wonderful book, How to be a Social Detective.  

This book really lays the ground work for perspective taking.  We teach the kids to use their eyes, ears, brains and hearts to make guesses about what others are feeling and might do next. 

In second grade these perspective skills are really starting to emerge and by third grade we usually see more of a jump.  For example, a second grader may be able to recognize that someone is angry when they observe a scowl on someone's face or see someone get hit.  Usually by third grade they may understand more about what made that individual angry, beyond just what they can observe. 

Some kids may develop their perspective taking skills more easily than others but there are ways you can teach it at home:

-Teachable Moments: if your child has or observes strong emotions, later asking (helpful hint: once everyone is calm) why they felt that way, how did it make the other person feel, how would you feel if that was you? 

-Help to point out what different feelings look like (frowning mouth, head down, tight mouth and furrowed eyebrows)- Body Language

-While reading a story, it's helpful to ask why a certain character felt a particular way and make the connection between behavior and emotions (motivation)

- If a child is surprised by someone's reaction, help them to understand the other person interpreted the situation and also help to point out background knowledge.  

- Here are some helpful books that highlight perspective taking:

1. Stand in My Shoes 

2. The Invisible Boy

3. Kathryn Otoshi has a great series of books:

One, Two, Zero

- Some great websites include: socialthinking.com and also Jill Kuzma's website

Great Website for Anxious Kiddos!

Happy Fall to Everyone at Wheelock!  I am dedicating my first blog post of the school year to one of the most helpful websites I have come across in a long time.

 GOZEN

I'm frequently checking out and circling back to so many different resources and websites dedicated to supporting the emotional well being of children; and this website continues to impress me! 

So I consider this my PSA for all those parents who have anxious kiddos.  This website includes more formalized kid friendly videos for treatment, as well as a blog with user friendly ideas and articles.  

In the essence of not having to reinvent the wheel I have also included a link to their blog below.  One of their most recent posts on this blog is titled 50 Calm Down Ideas for Kids of All Ages

Link for the blog: 50 Calm Down Ideas

Some of my favorite ideas include: blow the candles, paint it out, and write a letter in the voice of your BFF.  Writing a letter in the voice of your BFF is just another great way to teach kids positive self talk!  Thank you for visiting my website and have a great day!

Some ideas to help kids with perfectionist tendencies

Hello and Happy June!

It feels great to be back at work after having my first child, albeit a bit tough at times!  I missed the the smiling faces of the students, staff and families of Medfield.  I often try to pick relevant social/emotional topics or goings on at Wheelock to blog about.  Over the past couple of years, I have heard a lot about perfectionist tendencies in students.  I think this would be a great opportunity to share some tips and books I think are helpful.  It is certainly not an exhaustive list of strategies and books, but they are ones I like and think are relevant.

Try not to feed the perfectionism...

As hard as it can be sometimes, when a child cannot seem to move on when something isn't 'just right', it can be helpful for you to step aside and not try to 'over assist' with an issue.  Stepping aside can help show your child (although it is hard in the moment) that they can learn how to be flexible. For example, when their outfit or shoes, etc. are not 'perfect' and they feel they cannot leave.  Try to let them have their space and not immediately try to fix the situation by coming up with other solutions or strategies.

Try to be a role model...

Show your kids that it is okay to make mistakes in certain instances and that less than perfect can be perfectly acceptable.  Maybe share a story from your experience that a mistake actually helped you grow.  Try to use 'teachable' moments to show your kids that even though mom or dad made a mistake, life does go on and it's no big deal!  Which leads to my next suggestion:

Try to use a little humor...

Sometimes a little humor can help lighten the mood.  This may not always be the appropriate strategy depending on the intensity of the situation.  However, laughing and positive distraction are great ways to handle certain situations.  As mentioned above, it's not the end of the world and we sometimes needs to laugh at our own mistakes!

Try to help promote positive self talk...

One of my favorite strategies that can help with so many different issues is one that I teach all the kids here at Wheelock; Inner Coach.  This is the voice in our brains that helps us to think positively about a situation.  Help to challenge their thinking by asking how they can think positive about the situation.  Some examples include:  "I can do this"  "It's okay to make mistakes"  "All I can do is try my best".

Lastly, I know we've all seen these Memes all over the internet but they are so true!  Maybe help your child to pick out their favorite failure quote when times get tough.  Mistakes help us learn.

If you google 'quotes about failure', you will have plenty to choose from!



Here are some other resources:

* Helpful website with more in depth strategies & information

Some great books for kids:

1. Nobody's Perfect

2. Mistakes make you Quake - a great workbook from my favorite series

3. Ish - shout out to Mrs. Laliberte- thanks for the suggestion :)

4. The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes 

5. What to do when Good Enough isn't Good Enough 

Positive Mindset

We teach our kids so many great social/emotional strategies here at Wheelock Elementary and one of my favorite lessons teaches our students about the power of positive thinking.  We encounter so many small challenges and/or road blocks in a day and one of the best ways to handle a problem is to change our way of thinking to help us persevere.  I teach the kids to channel their "Inner Coaches", or the little voice that everyone has inside their heads, to brainstorm a more positive and proactive way to think about a situation.  Shown above is a poster that I have utilized in many classes and small sessions to help teach the kids, through example, how to change their thinking.  This poster happens to come from a time that I visited Miss Murphy's second grade class and they did a wonderful job coming up with positive thoughts!

I always like to end this lesson with a visual the students can each keep at their desk as a reminder. Below, I have displayed some examples of empowering positive 'mantras' that the students came up with on their own and have attached to their name tags.  They were so creative and several of the students wanted to use more than one statement!  I hope you found this blog post helpful and I hope you will challenge your children to change their thoughts to be more positive when they come across a problem or 'roadblock'.