Welcome Franklin- Good tips for Parents of Dog-shy kids

Welcome Franklin!

Starting after February vacation we will have a wonderful addition to the Wheelock Elementary school, Franklin the therapy dog.  There is such extensive research about the positive effects of a therapy dog in schools, one major benefit being the improvement of social/emotional well being.  On the Wheelock home page you will find a slideshow with a more extensive list of what the research shows, as well as more information about logistics: Wheelock Website

As exciting as this is, we realize there are many students who may be nervous or even fearful of dogs.  I would like the community to know that I am here to help any students/classes who may need extra support if they are feeling nervous/anxious about dogs.  We know that sometimes kids may develop a fear of dogs because of a lack of exposure or perhaps a parent has this same fear.  Children often feel nervous or scared because of a lack of control around dogs.  Luckily, Franklin is highly trained and will be in a very controlled setting at school.  This may be an ideal place to help a child learn to work through their dog fears.

Here are some GENERAL tips to help support kids who may be afraid of DOGS

- As we would encourage with any type of anxiety, it's best to acknowledge their feeling without reacting too strongly: "I understand that you are scared of dogs".  We want to steer clear from reacting too strongly and inadvertently reinforcing their their fear.

- Offer reassurance with a calm and confident tone of voice: "I understand and I am right here with you"

- Model confidence around dogs and be mindful of NOT asking 'loaded' questions like: "is it safe to pet your dog" or "does your dog bite?"  Try this instead: "Can we meet your dog".

Tips for first Interactions: 

- Systematic Exposure (slow introductions that start out small) can be a helpful way to eliminate fears.  This may look like watching a video of a dog, looking at dogs from across the park and then a trip to the pet store where kids can safely view animals behind an enclosement or gate. 

- Having a dog on a leash or behind a gate will be a helpful way to introduce your child to a dog you know. 

** Franklin will often be using a gentle leader, leash and always have a work vest on at Wheelock (so he knows he is working) **

- Role play is often a helpful method for teaching kids how to handle a tricky situation.  For example, they could act out with a stuffed animal dog how they would handle different scenarios. 

- Also previewing with the child ahead of time what might happen in an effort to take away some of the unpredictability.  Letting them know that some dogs like to lick people as a way of meeting them. 

** This will not happen with Franklin as he is highly trained to wait until commanded to do anything**   However kids may earn the chance to earn 'kisses' from Franklin- as this will be one of his commands.

- When a child does first meet a dog, it's helpful for the adult to narrate their experiences so they know what is going on.  For example, "the dog is moving his bottom quickly because he is excited to meet you".

Please feel free to email me if you have any concerns regarding your child: jennajohnson@email.medfield.net 

** Tips summarized from a couple helpful websites:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/susan-stiffelman/8-tips-for-helping-kids-g_b_6102352.html
http://www.positiveparentingconnection.net/fear-of-dogs/
http://www.apa.org/monitor/julaug05/fighting.aspx

Perspective Taking

Perspective Taking 

Here at Wheelock, I spend a lot of time in my small groups, lunch bunches and also at times within the classrooms teaching kids how to take PERSPECTIVE.   Or in other words, teaching kids to recognize and think about what other people are thinking and feeling.  This is a very important skill and is a great building block to building empathy.  Our teachers do a wonderful job weaving perspective taking skills in to many different lessons at school.  

In my earlier posts I've talked about Michele Garcia Winner's wonderful book, How to be a Social Detective.  

This book really lays the ground work for perspective taking.  We teach the kids to use their eyes, ears, brains and hearts to make guesses about what others are feeling and might do next. 

In second grade these perspective skills are really starting to emerge and by third grade we usually see more of a jump.  For example, a second grader may be able to recognize that someone is angry when they observe a scowl on someone's face or see someone get hit.  Usually by third grade they may understand more about what made that individual angry, beyond just what they can observe. 

Some kids may develop their perspective taking skills more easily than others but there are ways you can teach it at home:

-Teachable Moments: if your child has or observes strong emotions, later asking (helpful hint: once everyone is calm) why they felt that way, how did it make the other person feel, how would you feel if that was you? 

-Help to point out what different feelings look like (frowning mouth, head down, tight mouth and furrowed eyebrows)- Body Language

-While reading a story, it's helpful to ask why a certain character felt a particular way and make the connection between behavior and emotions (motivation)

- If a child is surprised by someone's reaction, help them to understand the other person interpreted the situation and also help to point out background knowledge.  

- Here are some helpful books that highlight perspective taking:

1. Stand in My Shoes 

2. The Invisible Boy

3. Kathryn Otoshi has a great series of books:

One, Two, Zero

- Some great websites include: socialthinking.com and also Jill Kuzma's website

Great Website for Anxious Kiddos!

Happy Fall to Everyone at Wheelock!  I am dedicating my first blog post of the school year to one of the most helpful websites I have come across in a long time.

 GOZEN

I'm frequently checking out and circling back to so many different resources and websites dedicated to supporting the emotional well being of children; and this website continues to impress me! 

So I consider this my PSA for all those parents who have anxious kiddos.  This website includes more formalized kid friendly videos for treatment, as well as a blog with user friendly ideas and articles.  

In the essence of not having to reinvent the wheel I have also included a link to their blog below.  One of their most recent posts on this blog is titled 50 Calm Down Ideas for Kids of All Ages

Link for the blog: 50 Calm Down Ideas

Some of my favorite ideas include: blow the candles, paint it out, and write a letter in the voice of your BFF.  Writing a letter in the voice of your BFF is just another great way to teach kids positive self talk!  Thank you for visiting my website and have a great day!

Some ideas to help kids with perfectionist tendencies

Hello and Happy June!

It feels great to be back at work after having my first child, albeit a bit tough at times!  I missed the the smiling faces of the students, staff and families of Medfield.  I often try to pick relevant social/emotional topics or goings on at Wheelock to blog about.  Over the past couple of years, I have heard a lot about perfectionist tendencies in students.  I think this would be a great opportunity to share some tips and books I think are helpful.  It is certainly not an exhaustive list of strategies and books, but they are ones I like and think are relevant.

Try not to feed the perfectionism...

As hard as it can be sometimes, when a child cannot seem to move on when something isn't 'just right', it can be helpful for you to step aside and not try to 'over assist' with an issue.  Stepping aside can help show your child (although it is hard in the moment) that they can learn how to be flexible. For example, when their outfit or shoes, etc. are not 'perfect' and they feel they cannot leave.  Try to let them have their space and not immediately try to fix the situation by coming up with other solutions or strategies.

Try to be a role model...

Show your kids that it is okay to make mistakes in certain instances and that less than perfect can be perfectly acceptable.  Maybe share a story from your experience that a mistake actually helped you grow.  Try to use 'teachable' moments to show your kids that even though mom or dad made a mistake, life does go on and it's no big deal!  Which leads to my next suggestion:

Try to use a little humor...

Sometimes a little humor can help lighten the mood.  This may not always be the appropriate strategy depending on the intensity of the situation.  However, laughing and positive distraction are great ways to handle certain situations.  As mentioned above, it's not the end of the world and we sometimes needs to laugh at our own mistakes!

Try to help promote positive self talk...

One of my favorite strategies that can help with so many different issues is one that I teach all the kids here at Wheelock; Inner Coach.  This is the voice in our brains that helps us to think positively about a situation.  Help to challenge their thinking by asking how they can think positive about the situation.  Some examples include:  "I can do this"  "It's okay to make mistakes"  "All I can do is try my best".

Lastly, I know we've all seen these Memes all over the internet but they are so true!  Maybe help your child to pick out their favorite failure quote when times get tough.  Mistakes help us learn.

If you google 'quotes about failure', you will have plenty to choose from!



Here are some other resources:

* Helpful website with more in depth strategies & information

Some great books for kids:

1. Nobody's Perfect

2. Mistakes make you Quake - a great workbook from my favorite series

3. Ish - shout out to Mrs. Laliberte- thanks for the suggestion :)

4. The Girl Who Never Made Mistakes 

5. What to do when Good Enough isn't Good Enough 

Positive Mindset

We teach our kids so many great social/emotional strategies here at Wheelock Elementary and one of my favorite lessons teaches our students about the power of positive thinking.  We encounter so many small challenges and/or road blocks in a day and one of the best ways to handle a problem is to change our way of thinking to help us persevere.  I teach the kids to channel their "Inner Coaches", or the little voice that everyone has inside their heads, to brainstorm a more positive and proactive way to think about a situation.  Shown above is a poster that I have utilized in many classes and small sessions to help teach the kids, through example, how to change their thinking.  This poster happens to come from a time that I visited Miss Murphy's second grade class and they did a wonderful job coming up with positive thoughts!

I always like to end this lesson with a visual the students can each keep at their desk as a reminder. Below, I have displayed some examples of empowering positive 'mantras' that the students came up with on their own and have attached to their name tags.  They were so creative and several of the students wanted to use more than one statement!  I hope you found this blog post helpful and I hope you will challenge your children to change their thoughts to be more positive when they come across a problem or 'roadblock'.

Have You Filled a Bucket Today? 

What a wonderful time of year, the start of school is!  Full of new beginnings, fresh starts and of course the opportunity to make new friends by filling buckets!  At the start of the year I always read one of my absolutely favorite stories, Have You Filled a Bucket Today?  This wonderful story helps kids to learn the importance of small kind acts by teaching kids that everyone has an imaginary bucket that needs to be filled.  Someone can fill a bucket by being kind and thoughtful to another person.  And when kids are kind and thoughtful to others not only do they fill someone else's bucket, their bucket gets full too!  This book also spends some time highlighting the negative impacts of teasing and bullying by calling this action, 'bucket dipping'.  A 'bucket dipper' has an empty bucket and cannot fill their own bucket by dipping into someone else's. 

Here at Wheelock, the students have the opportunity to share their examples of being 'bucket fillers' by filling out a slip and putting them into the 'Wheelock Bucket' (see above picture), so that their example can be shared on the bulletin board.  This lovely bulletin board is displayed on the first floor near the middle set of stairs.  Here are a couple great examples of students being 'bucket fillers' at Wheelock:

"Give a compliment to a friend"

"I shared a game by compromising" 

 Thank you so much for visiting my blog and I hope that your buckets get filled :)

Spring has Sprung :)

Ahhhhh, spring is here!  The warm weather has finally arrived and the students are so happy to be playing outside without all that snow equipment!  With the warm weather comes an increase of free space and playing new games (which is awesome-of course).  However, we usually see a bit of an increase in some social conflicts.  Through this post, I hope to provide some communication about the language we use here at Wheelock and also some tools you can use at home to support social problem solving.

Here at Wheelock we use both Open Circle and the Social Thinking curriculums to help teach our students how to navigate social conflicts and promote their emotional development.   There are different types of social problems and all the classes use a 1-5 point scale (tiny-huge) in conjunction with terms like ‘double d’ (destructive and dangerous) behaviors, to help educate students. 

We encourage our students to solve 1-3 point problems on their own using expected language (ex. teasing and/or 1x conflict) by using a calm & firm voice to stick up for yourself.  However, we put great importance on the fact that they should always tell a trusted adult right away if the issue is a ‘double d’ (destructive or dangerous-4 point problem) and/or the situation does not get resolved when they tried to use their words.   One way to stick up for yourself is by using “I statements”, for example- “I felt upset because the rules were not followed, next time I hope we can figure out the rules before we start the game”.   Here is a great visual to support this:

There are a lot of great books to support bullying that you could read with kids at home, here are some of my recommendations:

My Secret Bully by Trudy Ludwig:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1582461597/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1582461597&linkCode=as2&tag=lubraexpos-20

Just Kidding by Trudy Ludwig

http://www.amazon.com/Just-Kidding-Trudy-Ludwig/dp/1582461635/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1429108158&sr=8-1&keywords=just+kidding

Confessions of a former bully by Trudy Ludwig:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0307931137/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0307931137&linkCode=as2&tag=lubraexpos-20

Speak up and Get Along:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1575421828/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1575421828&linkCode=as2&tag=lubraexpos-20

Tease Monster by Julia Cook

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1934490474/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=1934490474&linkCode=as2&tag=lubraexpos-20

Thanks for taking the time to visit my blog, I hope these resources are helpful!