"I statements" and "I messages"

 "I statements" and "I messages"

Today I visited a third grade classroom to help students better advocate for themselves with social problems by teaching them about "I statements". 

"I statements" are one of the best conflict resolution strategies and widely used in almost any therapy setting.  I use the "I statement" strategy a lot in my small group counseling sessions and I was thrilled to be able to share this skill with a whole class.  The "I statements" are such a successful strategy because it's a way of communicating feelings effectively without causing the other individual to become defensive.  When people use "You statements" to get their point across, i.e. "You made me mad when you left me out"; the other person will often become defensive because they might feel blamed.  Therefore, the other person won't be able to listen as empathically when their defenses are up.  When a student says something like; "I felt upset when I was left out of the game", kids are better able to understand the other person's feelings without feeling blamed.  We also practiced using "I statements" by breaking into groups and role playing some problem solving scenarios.  The kids did a great job with this activity and I hope it helps them the next time they come across a social problem!

Book Spotlight 'Uniquely Wired' by Julia Cook

 

Today I had the pleasure of visiting a second grade classroom to read them a story titled 'Uniquely Wired', a beautifully written story about a young boy with Autism Spectrum Disorder.  Julia Cook is the author of this wonderful book and she has written a large variety of books to support social/emotional growth in children.  'Uniquely Wired' helps both children and adults better understand Autism.  The story is told from the perspective of a young boy Zak who explains how he responds to the world differently.  These differences are viewed as gifts that Zak gives others around him.  I truly believe knowledge is power and this class not only gained a better understanding of Autism Spectrum Disorder, they demonstrated even more acceptance and tolerance towards our students who may be viewed as different. 

Resources to support events from January 6th 2021

Yesterday's events from the violent outbreak and breach of the US Capitol has us all feeling very distraught and unsettled.  Here are some resources with tips on how to handle and support our children after such an unfortunate event.  We have a responsibility to ensure our children feel safe and supported.  I hope that we can all have meaningful conversations with our kids and with each other about the importance of being tolerant, respectful and accepting of others.  I believe we can empower our youth to be the change we wish to see in the world.  

Tips for parents from NASP

Tips for Educators from NASP

Here is another great resource Dr. Marsden has shared with us:

Responding to violence at the Capitol

Talking to your kids about coming back to school

 Welcome and welcome back to some families as we begin the 2020-2021 school year at Wheelock.  I am very excited to see the students again.  However, I am sure many families have a 'mixed bag' of emotions.  Teachers and staff are working so hard to ensure a safe and welcoming return to school.  Myself and Mrs. Bockhorst (our part time counselor) have put together some talking points we thought would be helpful for families.  

1.  What to do if your child is feeling worried:

1. Normalize - It is common to feel worried before we do something new, for both kids and adults

2.  Remind of prior successes - help your child think of a time they did something they overcame their nerves

3. Practice relaxation strategies 

1. - Deep breaths - Roller Coaster Breathing 

2. - Positive mantra - “I can do hard things.”

   
   

2. How to help your child adapt to wearing masks

1. Explain: Wearing a mask helps protect ourselves and other people

2. Take a picture of you and your student wearing the mask

3. Practice: 

1. start small and build up from there 

2. take small trips to libraries or stores so that kids can begin to practice mask wearing

3. Wear the mask during a preferred activity like ipad time

4. Play pretend with the mask, try putting a mask on your stuffed animal

5. Have fun picking a mask, let your child get to chose

6.  Practice what your child can say if another student takes off their mask - “Oops, don’t forget your mask.”

 

3. Explain how staying 6 feet apart keeps you safe

1. - Help your child recognize how far 6 feet is 

1. Measure it out together

2. Draw it with chalk

3. Airplane Arms

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4. Help your child rehearse what to say if someone is too close “Please remember six feet apart!” “Whoops, we have to remember our space”

Saying Hello/Greeting Friends - Prepare your child that they can greet their friends with all sorts of friendly “hellos” from a distance

Resources to help talk to kids about racism

I am writing this important blog post to provide resources/support to help you as parents and to help our children throughout this continued difficult time.  The horrific death of George Floyd along with the long standing issue of race in our country, is I'm sure on the forefront of many people's minds right now.  Not only as an elementary school psychologist, but as a mom of a four year old asking questions, I want to help provide some developmentally friendly resources so that we can do our part in making the world a better place.  

1. Here is a great social story that Mrs. Ryan (one of our district BCBAs) shared with me, this social story helps to explain things with kid friendly language and pictures

2. The Medfield Superintendent Dr. Marsden shared this article with several great pointers about talking to kids about race and racism

3. This website provides a list of 37 books that address race and discrimination

4. This website provides a list of helpful books according to age range for those of you who have kids spanning various ages.

5. Lastly, CNN is pairing up with Sesame Street to conduct a 'town hall' Saturday morning 6/6.  I know our kids at Wheelock are older than Sesame Street's target audience but reading the description of the event it seems like it would be a worthwhile resource.  They're having a panel of experts help to answer questions submitted by kids/families.  

I hope you all find these resources helpful, thank you for your time.

Talking to Children about Covid-19

In an effort to help support the any anxiety about the ongoing concern of the Corona virus or Covid-19, I am going to share two very helpful resources.  The first is an article from the National Association of School Psychologists (NASP) with good talking points.

https://www.nasponline.org/resources-and-publications/resources-and-podcasts/school-climate-safety-and-crisis/health-crisis-resources/talking-to-children-about-covid-19-(coronavirus)-a-parent-resource

This next resource is set up in a comic format and may or may not be appropriate to share with your kids, based on your judgement. 

https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2020/02/28/809580453/just-for-kids-a-comic-exploring-the-new-coronavirus

I hope you find these resources helpful. 

Supporting Your Child with a Disability

Supporting the Emotional Needs of Kids with Disabilities

By Child Mind Institute 

I recently came across this article (linked above) which highlights some great ways to support your child if they have a disability.  I often hear about concerns with kids who may have low self esteem because of their disabilities.  I think this is such an important topic and a great opportunity for open and ongoing discussion.  I have blogged and shared resources about this topic before (see earlier posts), but I think this article highlights some key points as well.  I especially like how the Child Mind Institute highlights how a student's disability (often times) has nothing to do with their intelligence level.  Most students with a learning disability whether it's reading based or ADHD are of at least Average intelligence levels.  I think this is an important factor to point out to kids.